Gratitude, Murmuring, and Lessons Learned.

I have decided.
This was thee L o n g e s t  W e e k  E v e r.  Every morning, as I woke up, I thought I might die from sleep deprivation.  
I wonder if you can really die from that?


I have been thinking a lot about gratitude however. You know, with it being Thanksgiving and all.  I know I have so much to be thankful for.  I have been trying to show my gratitude a little bit more this week.


I love the quote, "What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I can not hear the things you say." -not sure where I heard it... perhaps Stephen Covey.  I can take a little comfort, hopefully, that Heavenly Father pays more attention to the fact that I show up prepared to teach seminary everyday than the words that slip out of my mouth accidentally when the alarm goes off.  Oddly enough, we just defined murmuring in seminary this week though. It means to complain and disobey.  Just for fun, lets just call the words that slip out of my mouth murmuring, without the disobedience part of the definition.


It made me think a lot... How can I show my gratitude without using words?  I had to think about it for a while.
It is easy to list all the things I have to be thankful for
My family, the gospel, our house,  our health, Phillip's good job...
Its different though, when I thought about how I'd show my appreciation for all of it.


I'd hoped, before I began a closer look at my life, that I would find that my daily habits/actions showed gratitude for my blessings. And, I believe that in some ways, they do...phew.  But, not as many as I had hoped for.


I got stuck on my health.  How do I show gratitude for my healthy body.  I concluded that I must use my body more; walk, run, work out, dance, skip, hold hands with the ones I love.  I might need to get winded a bit, perhaps, to show gratitude for how my lungs work.  I might need to walk outside a bit, acknowledge nature as a gift of love from God, and to show gratitude for my senses.


I have struggled with my health over the last couple of years and it has been an entire year now, since my surgery last fall.  I have felt better and better with each month that passes however, I have not exercised more than a handful of times since.  I thought I'd miss it more I guess.  Like how I would have really amazing dreams about working out when I was super pregnant or even just after having my babies because I knew I couldn't/shouldn't be exerting myself like that.  


Also, my mind keeps reviewing how there is more than one person I know right now struggling with a life threatening disease and I am disappointed as to why I haven't been more thankful for the healthy body that I have. It may not be the ideal body that I would prefer but Come On!... It works... and... it doesn't hurt anymore.  I definitely haven't been showing any appreciation, through my actions, for my health much.


I decided I'd take a walk.  I figured I couldn't get any more tired than I already was.  I had been preparing my lesson and my mind was full of thoughts.  I was concentrating on what I had just studied and I was walking with my head down, looking at the ground, when the thought occurred to me to Look Up. There, in my path, was the most amazing tree; the brightest yellow I have ever seen.  I know its so cliche but it really did take my breath away.  I then noticed the one next to it and the one next to that! and that they were still in the process of changing like a flame from red to orange and yellow.  They were all so beautiful and so vibrantly colorful.  It was stunning.  I have driven past these trees at least fifty times in the last week or two and had never even noticed them.  I stopped and just stared at them for a few moments.  


Gratitude... appreciation... thankfulness...I thought.
This is what it feels like.  


I like to call "cleaning" my house "appreciating" my house... it makes me do it more and even enjoy it a little.  Maybe if I were to re-name exercising it would work the same way?  I could call it "appreciating my body".... hahaha nope.  How about "appreciating my health"... still not very motivating.  How about  "Get off your butt and go look at what God created for you, you big lazy jerk."  Aw yes.  There we go.  Leaving for another walk now.


Happy Thanksgiving.

I was minding my own business.

cooking dinner at the stove

in my bare feet no less.

As I closed the oven door I both see and feel this lovely creature scramble over my feet.

I screamed.

and ran.

I collected myself

and from a safe distance

(which might have been up on a chair)

kept my eye on this horrific creature 

(who now appears to be so small and harmless)

and called for Kate.

"Kate... do you want to come catch a lizard for me?" 

Storming down the stairs she replies in the affirmative 

and rounds the corner to get a look at the "little guy."

"UM, I DONT THINK SO MOM. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?"

All I could think about is this thing getting lost somewhere in my house and not knowing where it is.  

I don't think I could sleep or sit comfortably on the couch

or stand by the stove or sit at the table with my feet on the ground.

It was then that I remembered that we had a man in the house. Mike was upstairs working on the bathroom.  I know he didn't sign up for catching wild animals when he agreed to work on our bathroom but he is a nice guy and had a good laugh at us girls squealing and standing on chairs poised and ready to run if the thing moved again.  

He was all for "saving" us silly girls 

until he got a look at the thing. 

"OH, I am not touching that thing.  Those aren't nice."  

Apparently, it's an alligator lizard and they like to bite and not let go.  

Armed with a pot holder 

and added drama from our screams every time it moved,

Mike nearly caught the killer lizard 

but at the last minute the that slithery thing slid up in between the wall and our pantry!  

NO!

Well, that was that.  Mike had to go.  ( Do you blame him?)

and the killer lizard was hiding in my house.

For all I knew that was the mother of an entire family living under my stove.

This was not good.

So we called in the big guns. 

Phillip was now on his way home from work prepared to save us.

While we were waiting for Phillip, Kate found out that our neighbor Jordon was home.  He is Kate's age.  They were born 2 weeks apart and have been lizard catching buddies their entire lives.  We figured what have we got to loose?  We could at least ask if he would be willing to come save us from the killer lizard.  We put a dish, with high sides, on the floor at the edge of the pantry where he had escaped, 

hoping he had nowhere else to go but in the dish on his way out.  

Jordan and Kate pounded on the pantry until he slithered out into the dish 

and Jordan whisked that horrible monster away and out of the house like a true hero.

Life was restored to normal just in time for Philip to get home.

I even ate dinner with my feet on the ground. 

Thank You Jordan.

We love you.