I ran into this lady this last week while looking at vintage dress patterns.  
I can't remember when it was exactly that we first met but I remember her from my early childhood.     
I am pretty sure I use to want to be her when I grew up. 

One Of My Seminary Student's Parents Made This... I Love It!

I really can't quite figure out how exactly to describe what teaching seminary was like for me this year.  I guess in many ways I felt like, as a class, we were navigating ourselves across a super messy room in the dark.  I personally, as a brand new teacher, felt so many obstacles and encountered so many discouraging blows like one would tripping over a coffee table or smacking into wall they didn't realize was there.  I am certain that it wasn't easy for my students either!  Most of them were freshman and new to seminary too. I know for a fact that a couple of them overcame some difficult trials as well and their improvement has been inspiring to me, to say the least (and to think that all along, neither them nor I, knew what we were doing!)  I find it quite the miracle that in spite of all the challenges we faced... some how... some way...in the end... we each found the light.  I am overjoyed for my students and their success.    

A Shower For Corinne

No More Naked Kitchen Table

I am being brave.

I just ordered new chairs for my naked kitchen table.

It has been sitting bare for 6 weeks now. 

They are a pale aqua!

Crossing my fingers that they are the right color 

and not a dusty 80's blue. 

I might be crazy.

Here Comes a Beautiful Bride

We love this girl

We have known Corinne since Tanner and her were in kindergarten about 14 years ago.

She is dear to all of us here at the Holmes house and to a little house in Tocancipa, Colombia.

While we would have loved to have her in our family, 

we think its pretty exciting that she is marrying into another.

She is beautiful and lovely and virtuous and kind.  Everything a boy could ask for.  

Were having a little bridal shower for her this Saturday.

WE ARE SO EXCITED FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL BRIDE

Not easy

Sometimes I think about how frustrating it is to be a parent... how difficult it is to constantly do all the things I need to do for my kids to help them make good choices.  I have learned over the years that sometimes I need to let my children make some choices for themselves so they understand what "when you pick up one end of the stick you pick up the other" means.  It is good to help them practice making choices now, under that umbrella of security of loving parents, than it is to think of them making some of their very first choices when they are 18 and on their own for the first time.  Some of the choices they will make at that age have far more serious consequences then the ones they may make at 16, 14, 12, and 10 while living at home. I have to admit though, it bothers me.  I sometimes want to govern every last move my children make.  And I will admit that some of that desire to control their decisions comes from fear of what others might think of me if I allow my children to make choices contrary to what I would choose for them. Now I am not saying here not to teach, testify, or even plead with our children. I would never say that.  I am not saying that when your children are learning how to choose the right that you don't enforce rules in your home.  like it would be absurd to say to your two year old, "I told you once that that stove was hot and now I will allow you to choose weather or not you will touch it ever again." Obviously there are some things that we need to save our children from, for their safety.  And perhaps what I am talking about is more of what a parent may do with teenagers and not toddlers.  For example, sometimes when my children are doing something wrong I walk up to them and ask, "what am I about to say to you?"  and it never fails, they, word for word, recite what I would have told them.  That, no doubt, comes from years and years and years of teaching. I could not have done that when they were small because they really didn't know better then.  They also know that weather I would have said, keep your hands to yourself, stop arguing, or if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, they know exactly what the consequence are for those things.  With Emily, when she isn't talking nice to her family she knows I will put out my hand and her phone is mine.  She is disappointed in herself for forgetting to obey the rules.  I say to my kids all the time, "I have taught you and taught you... it is now YOUR TURN to obey it or not, but either way you are choosing your consequence; for good, or for bad.

In a talk that General Relief Society President Bonnie D. Parkin gave with the general yw and general primary presidents back in 2004 ish she spoke about just this kind of thing.  She was sharing with us a story about her own son and how she had always taught her children to keep the Sabbath day holy and not go to the store or seek entertainment like going to the movies or anything on that day but to spend it in a restful way with family and serving others.  However when her son had gotten a little older, (late teens, I think she said he was 17) she began to allow him to choose for himself about how he would keep the Sabbath day holy. She figured that by now, the lessons have been taught and it's time for him to gain a testimony for himself.  She said that If she always chose for him then when he was out on his own, what force would drive him to do the right thing?  There wouldn't be any parents there to enforce this behavior.  She realized that if he didn't believe in this for himself, in his own heart, then it is not something he would follow once on his own.  Or in other words, He wouldn't have a testimony of the benefits of following this commandment because he never gained his own personal conviction about why it is important and how living it will bless HIS own life.  Instead he only lives it to please his parents... and while that is ok when children are very small, it is only lip service when they are teenagers. Anyway, Sister Parkin allowed her son, this particular night, to choose for himself what he would do after being asked by some of his friends if he wanted to join them to go see a movie on Sunday night.  It pained her a great deal that he chose to go.  She said to him that she knew that he knew what he had been taught about the Sabbath and what was right.  She said I trust that you will do the right thing but he chose otherwise.

A lot of times teenagers fail to understand the wisdom of the commandments because they lack the experience necessary to gain it.  However, at some point, they must know why to obey a commandment.  They must have that question answered in a satisfactory way for them or they will continue to doubt and rebel against the very thing you want them to do because they don't understand.  Unfortunately sometimes, our children must learn from experience.  This is so painful for me as a parent as I am sure that it is for others. Ideally, I wish all my children would trust me to navigate their lives for them and help them find their way, but not all children trust, and not all children learn that way.

I have to remind myself often that our best example of parenting comes form our wise Heavenly Father.  He has given us our agency.  It is by far one of the greatest gifts he could bestow upon his children.  He loves us so much and wants everyone of his children to return to him BUT he will not force us.  He will never never ever interfere with our agency.  It is up to us, individually, to choose his way over the worlds way.  Just like the choice Eve ultimately made to start this human family.  She would stand still and live forever without progress if she never had to choose something.  At some point we all have to choose if we want to progress!  Heavenly Father will never force us to do his will. But make no mistake, he will never give up providing everything we need to make good choices if we desire it.  He works tirelessly to bring to pass immortality and eternal life of man so that his whole family can be together again with him.

Sister Parkin explained in her training that as her son came home that night and over the next few days they talked a lot about his decision.  She asked him (NOT in a sarcastic tone but a loving one) if it was worth it?  and ultimately her son realized that it wasn't.  Now, she doesn't really need to worry much anymore about what he will choose next time, or next year or even how he will raise his own kids because the wisdom of the doctrine of the Sabbath day is in his own heart not just his Mom's anymore.  I bet there were those that condemned her for her decisions that night to allow her son to choose.  I applaud her courage to trust in Heavenly Father's example at a time when she felt it was right for her son.

I love the primary song, I am trying to be like Jesus, learning to do his will...  I really am trying... but I find more and more that in parenting, I am trying to be like Heavenly Father and It is not easy.  

 Another dress to alter.  Nothing is modest these days.  Im thankful for friends that sew and a little extra fabric. Thanks Terri for helping us!  I was wishing there was a little more of a sleeve but I thought Emily looked beautiful.  I can't believe my little girl is 16 and off to prom.

Carla was so sweet to do the girls make-up, Emily knows better than to ask me... I still don't know how to apply eye shadow.  We all thought Carla looked like she could go to prom with them even though she is a married mother of 3.  She is so cute.

All Together And Loving It!

Skyping with Tanner on Mother's Day

It was Joy to say the least. I felt so many things... loads of love, urges to reach through the screen and pat his cheeks, tears, a swelling and pounding heart, a great sense of satisfaction, an absolute thrill listening to his stories about, sharing the gospel,  army men, machine guns, short Colombians, buses he is too tall for, electrical barbed wire fences, risking his posterity, and spanish speaking cows.  He is happy.  He is funny.  He is pretty cute in a shirt and tie.  He loves the Lord.  He loves me.  He is still my Tanner. AAAAHHHHHH!  I love him.

We had family prayer over skype.

It almost tore my heart in half to hang up.

Frazzled Moms Are Super

I took Chad to get his haircut this week.  It was just he and I.  It was a long wait, but that is alright, we were completely entertained. There was a mother there with her four children; 2 boys, 2 girls, like our family.  Well, like our family 6 maybe 8 years ago.  Is it bad that I was totally enjoying the drama that unfolded in front of us as the hour ticked by?  


I may have been staring 
and I may have even had my mouth open at the same time, 
but I couldn't help it, 

I found it so disturbingly hilarious, in a 

I-can-totally-relate-but-so-glad-it's-not-me-anymore kind of way. 

Minute by minute there were pokes given, sibling to sibling, and 

threats hurled by an increasingly exasperated mother. 

Threats through gritted teeth like:

"Bedtime is going to go to 7:45 for you guys" and 

"I mean it, if you touch her one more time I'll..." and 

"Sit down before I come over there and make you sit down."  

All while the children continued on, in their constant motion, chatter, and giggling with things like:

 "I don't care, I like to go to bed early." and 

"Mom.      Mom.        Mom!       Hey Mom... do you dare me to fill up a cup with that free coffee?" and 

"Mom.   Moooom.  Mom, is my tongue blue?", and 

my personal favorite, "Dylan, did you see that big ol' spit I did out there?"

And they all had giant suckers in their mouths to boot. 

At one point, the mom flawlessly intercepted a punch to a sibling, just in time, 
only to have the puncher cry loudly, 
"Moooom, you are hurting meeee!"
It was about this time I heard the mother say, 
"Mom, can I call you back later, 
this isn't a good time for me right now."  

Hahahha, yyyyeah.

  

It was definitely a 

kids    Mom 

3         0  

     

kind of day for her.  

I think she hit a home run with the bedtime deal though 
and she ended up winning in my book.  

By the time they left, bedtime was at like 7:15!    

She may be a little crazed, but she is no dummy.  

Happy Mother's day to all those frazzled Moms out there who, 

day in and day out, get humbled by their children 

and take it like a pro. 

I personally love you and thanks for making me smile.

A Sweet Letter From Father To Son

Elder Holmes, 

Well your time has finally come. By now you are probably packing your bags and getting ready to leave early in the morning. I can't tell you how excited we are for you. Since we got your letter last Thursday about your travel plans I have found myself thinking about it often and getting a little rush imagining you getting on that bus and traveling to the airport. After being at the MTC for 2 months you'll probably have some mixed emotions about leaving your friends and teachers but the excitement of finally getting on your way will dominate your mind and heart and you'll be full of anticipation and excitement. I wish I could be there to see you off. We've shared so many exciting adventures together it doesn't seem fair that this time I can't be there to share this one with you. At least we will be able to hear your voice and feel your excitement over the phone. We are looking forward to it a great deal!   

Remember the dead tree/stick we removed from in front of the house before you left? Remember how we sprinkled that fancy new seed over the dirt circle to try to patch it up with grass and how we thought the birds ate all the seed because it wasn't growing in yet. And remember how right before you left we could see tiny little grass blades were sprouting up? Well, every time I walk by that patch, which is at least twice a day, I think of you. I think about taking out that tree and planting the seed and wondering if it would ever grow and I look at it now and it is nearly completely filled in and growing thicker and thicker every day. It's such a small thing but I love it. It reminds me of the time we spent together before you left on your mission and in some ways is a small measure of the time that has gone by. I think to myself, "I thought that little patch of grass would never grow and now look at it. It's nearly filled in and blending into the rest of the lawn". Like those little seeds Tanner, your testimony has sprouted up and grown over the last 2 months. Your testimony is beginning to fill in and blend into your personality. It happens slowly over time but before you know it you look back and can't believe the development you see. Your testimony feels stronger and you are filled with faith and hope. You've already come such a long way over a short amount of time. We can see that in your letters home. We are so proud of you and I guess that little patch of grass reminds me of those things and makes me smile every time I see it. You are going to be a great missionary to the people of Colombia. You are going to be filled with love for those people and you won't believe how much you care for them and work every minute for their salvation. What a great thing! 

Remember that we love you and pray for you. We know the Lord is looking after you and will protect you and lift you up in your trials and challenges. Don't be discouraged or afraid. Just go out there and get it done. There's a funny radio ad for Doritos that I hear several times a day on the radio. It goes something like this: "Punch your mouth in the face with the bold taste of Doritos extreme… blah blah blah." It cracks me up every time I hear it! We were always saying punch this or that in the face as way of saying just kick butt! That's what you gotta do right now and for the rest of your mission. Just punch it in the face. You can do it. Your are the best! 

I love you. And don't forget to enjoy the ride. It's gonna be the best two years ever! 

Love, 

Dad