Plain Jane: 2011

Friday, November 18, 2011

Gratitude, Murmuring, and Lessons Learned.

I have decided.
This was thee L o n g e s t W e e k E v e r. Every morning, as I woke up, I thought I might die from sleep deprivation.
I wonder if you can really die from that?

I have been thinking a lot about gratitude however. You know, with it being Thanksgiving and all. I know I have so much to be thankful for. I have been trying to show my gratitude a little bit more this week.

I love the quote, "What you are shouts so loudly in my ears I can not hear the things you say." -not sure where I heard it... perhaps Stephen Covey. I can take a little comfort, hopefully, that Heavenly Father pays more attention to the fact that I show up prepared to teach seminary everyday than the words that slip out of my mouth accidentally when the alarm goes off. Oddly enough, we just defined murmuring in seminary this week though. It means to complain and disobey. Just for fun, lets just call the words that slip out of my mouth murmuring, without the disobedience part of the definition.

It made me think a lot... How can I show my gratitude without using words? I had to think about it for a while.
It is easy to list all the things I have to be thankful for
My family, the gospel, our house, our health, Phillip's good job...
Its different though, when I thought about how I'd show my appreciation for all of it.

I'd hoped, before I began a closer look at my life, that I would find that my daily habits/actions showed gratitude for my blessings. And, I believe that in some ways, they do...phew. But, not as many as I had hoped for.

I got stuck on my health. How do I show gratitude for my healthy body. I concluded that I must use my body more; walk, run, work out, dance, skip, hold hands with the ones I love. I might need to get winded a bit, perhaps, to show gratitude for how my lungs work. I might need to walk outside a bit, acknowledge nature as a gift of love from God, and to show gratitude for my senses.

I have struggled with my health over the last couple of years and it has been an entire year now, since my surgery last fall. I have felt better and better with each month that passes however, I have not exercised more than a handful of times since. I thought I'd miss it more I guess. Like how I would have really amazing dreams about working out when I was super pregnant or even just after having my babies because I knew I couldn't/shouldn't be exerting myself like that.

Also, my mind keeps reviewing how there is more than one person I know right now struggling with a life threatening disease and I am disappointed as to why I haven't been more thankful for the healthy body that I have. It may not be the ideal body that I would prefer but Come On!... It works... and... it doesn't hurt anymore. I definitely haven't been showing any appreciation, through my actions, for my health much.

I decided I'd take a walk. I figured I couldn't get any more tired than I already was. I had been preparing my lesson and my mind was full of thoughts. I was concentrating on what I had just studied and I was walking with my head down, looking at the ground, when the thought occurred to me to Look Up. There, in my path, was the most amazing tree; the brightest yellow I have ever seen. I know its so cliche but it really did take my breath away. I then noticed the one next to it and the one next to that! and that they were still in the process of changing like a flame from red to orange and yellow. They were all so beautiful and so vibrantly colorful. It was stunning. I have driven past these trees at least fifty times in the last week or two and had never even noticed them. I stopped and just stared at them for a few moments.

Gratitude... appreciation... thankfulness...I thought.
This is what it feels like.

I like to call "cleaning" my house "appreciating" my house... it makes me do it more and even enjoy it a little. Maybe if I were to re-name exercising it would work the same way? I could call it "appreciating my body".... hahaha nope. How about "appreciating my health"... still not very motivating. How about "Get off your butt and go look at what God created for you, you big lazy jerk." Aw yes. There we go. Leaving for another walk now.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 7, 2011

I was minding my own business.

cooking dinner at the stove

in my bare feet no less.

As I closed the oven door I both see and feel this lovely creature scramble over my feet.

I screamed.

and ran.

I collected myself

and from a safe distance

(which might have been up on a chair)

kept my eye on this horrific creature

(who now appears to be so small and harmless)

and called for Kate.

"Kate... do you want to come catch a lizard for me?"

Storming down the stairs she replies in the affirmative

and rounds the corner to get a look at the "little guy."

"UM, I DONT THINK SO MOM. WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?"

All I could think about is this thing getting lost somewhere in my house and not knowing where it is.

I don't think I could sleep or sit comfortably on the couch

or stand by the stove or sit at the table with my feet on the ground.

It was then that I remembered that we had a man in the house. Mike was upstairs working on the bathroom. I know he didn't sign up for catching wild animals when he agreed to work on our bathroom but he is a nice guy and had a good laugh at us girls squealing and standing on chairs poised and ready to run if the thing moved again.

He was all for "saving" us silly girls

until he got a look at the thing.

"OH, I am not touching that thing. Those aren't nice."

Apparently, it's an alligator lizard and they like to bite and not let go.

Armed with a pot holder

and added drama from our screams every time it moved,

Mike nearly caught the killer lizard

but at the last minute the that slithery thing slid up in between the wall and our pantry!

NO!

Well, that was that. Mike had to go. ( Do you blame him?)

and the killer lizard was hiding in my house.

For all I knew that was the mother of an entire family living under my stove.

This was not good.

So we called in the big guns.

Phillip was now on his way home from work prepared to save us.

While we were waiting for Phillip, Kate found out that our neighbor Jordon was home. He is Kate's age. They were born 2 weeks apart and have been lizard catching buddies their entire lives. We figured what have we got to loose? We could at least ask if he would be willing to come save us from the killer lizard. We put a dish, with high sides, on the floor at the edge of the pantry where he had escaped,

hoping he had nowhere else to go but in the dish on his way out.

Jordan and Kate pounded on the pantry until he slithered out into the dish

and Jordan whisked that horrible monster away and out of the house like a true hero.

Life was restored to normal just in time for Philip to get home.

I even ate dinner with my feet on the ground.

Thank You Jordan.

We love you.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

It All Started With A Little Leak...

It all started with a little leak...

and now look what Phillip made me do.

I haven't taken the time to find anything to hang on the walls yet and we still need to add a handle to the built in cabinet door, arrange shelves and put everything back, but for the most part, our bathroom is finished.

Can I get an Amen?

You are a rock star Mike Babbel.

Thank you so much!

I have already designed our other two bathrooms.

Whatch doin monday?

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

I love winter in Southern California. It is one of my most favorite times of the year. However, the closer it gets, the darker my mornings are. It is getting so dark now that I am a little bit sad on my morning drive to the church building. Today... it was barely light as we were leaving seminary! As sad as the darkness makes me, the more the glorious morning sky lifts me. I took this picture with my phone as I got out of the car back at home. It took my breath away.

It makes me think of this.

...as we watched night turn into morning. Do you recall the slow and almost imperceptible increase in light on the horizon? In contrast to turning on a light in a dark room, the light from the rising sun did not immediately burst forth. Rather, gradually and steadily the intensity of the light increased, and the darkness of night was replaced by the radiance of morning. Eventually, the sun did dawn over the skyline. But the visual evidence of the sun’s impending arrival was apparent hours before the sun actually appeared over the horizon. This experience was characterized by subtle and gradual discernment of light."

"The gradual increase of light radiating from the rising sun is like receiving a message from God “line upon line, precept upon precept” (2 Nephi 28:30). Most frequently, revelation comes in small increments over time and is granted according to our desire, worthiness, and preparation. Such communications from Heavenly Father gradually and gently “distil upon [our souls] as the dews from heaven” (D&C 121:45)"

"In many of the uncertainties and challenges we encounter in our lives, God requires us to do our best, to act and not be acted upon (see 2 Nephi 2:26), and to trust in Him. We may not see angels, hear heavenly voices, or receive overwhelming spiritual impressions. We frequently may press forward hoping and praying—but without absolute assurance—that we are acting in accordance with God’s will. But as we honor our covenants and keep the commandments, as we strive ever more consistently to do good and to become better, we can walk with the confidence that God will guide our steps. And we can speak with the assurance that God will inspire our utterances. This is in part the meaning of the scripture that declares, “Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God” (D&C 121:45)."

Thank you Elder Bednar.

A Mother's Work is Never Done

As a mother, rarely, are our jobs ever really finished.

Like laundry, while we can be "caught up", its just a matter of hours or sometimes even minutes before there is more to do.

And dishes, 3 times a day, on a good day, and we can always count on there being more tomorrow.

(Don't even get me started about how we are never done parenting

or how long it takes to notice if your kids will turn out alright.)

If you are a mother you understand,

What is clean one minute is dirty the next.

It feels endless

and sometimes fruitless

and our work really is never ever done.

I think that is why I tend to get discouraged occasionally.

When I measure how exhausted I am

with how much I have to show for it

I am usually quite disappointed.

There just isn't a general sense of accomplishment

but there is definitely always something to be working on.

When I start to feel a little hopeless

I know it is time to switch things up.

I need to make a difference;

A noticeable one that won't be undone in 5 minutes.

I need a project that has a beginning and an end,

bears fruit,

and can be checked of the list never to appear on it again.

That's what I am talking about;

checking something off my list that I know

won't be on there again tomorrow!

It's like a victory of sorts;

an I DID IT moment.

Everyone needs a little pat on the back every now and then

even if you awkwardly have to give it to yourself. (sarcastic exhale.)

So, this is what I did...

Lots and lots and lots of old photos needed a new home

because my closet was tired of them living there.

Since our old wall unit has been updated (thank you Mike),

it was feeling generous and invited the old photos to move in. Yea!

Before

After

Ahhh,

It feels so good.

Now, back to the dishes.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Senior Crown

It is real.

They are official seniors now sporting their senior crowns.

Emily's, appropriately, is decorated with some cute

cupcake wrappers.

It's amazing to me that while I can look at this picture as see that my Emily has grown up I still can't help remembering that little girl who use to wear her fathers shoes and dance on the coffee table in her pajamas and try to talk with her binki in her mouth. She is a sweet, compassionate, loving, young woman with her whole life ahead of her. She is full of anticipation for the next phase in her life and with her father's sense of adventure I am certain that she will take on college like a pro.

How could I not be anything but excited for her?

Perhaps I'd do better to not ask that question right now.

The older I get the more I feel my heart swell when I see true joy in my children's eyes.

The true joy that comes from living virtuously

and close to the Lord.

I am so thankful for my sweet Emily.

So school started and even though I have been resisting the schedule

there is no doubt about it now,

we are in it.

Here is my my senior on her first day of school!

I type it so I can digest it.

Emily is 17 and started filling out her college applications this week.

I am thankful that at least I know what is coming,

having gone through this once with Tanner already.

However, having gone through this once already

I also

know what is coming...

if you know what I mean.

Emily and her best friend since kindergarten.

A whole foot apart in height... but connected at the heart.

We love Gigi!

We give her a pretty hard time about her short stature.

It's just so obvious when she hangs out with our family of giants. The last time we all went out to dinner and Gigi joined us the hostess looked at Gigi and asked,

"So will it just be the one kids menu? Hahaha.

She is a good sport.