From Nothing To Everything

Warning:  I have a lot to say.
I can't remember a time EVER that I had a week of nothing.  NO appointments, NO meetings, NO games, NO practices, NO commitments. I of course had to do all the normal, get the kids off to school and make lunches and dinner etc, but besides that, nothing nothing nothing!  Honestly, the week felt like an eternity.  i had a lot of time to think.  it was heavenly, sort of like a little personal vacation but at home.  i really didn't care for the bickering and arguing once the kids got home but really, all in all, it was a fabulous week.  i took more time to really listen to what my kids were saying aside from the arguing.  it was eye opening.  there was plenty that could have been done around here, but i decided, why not just pretend that there wasn't  a mt. everest of laundry to get done or an office to be cleaned out or a pantry to reorganize or insurance to renegotiate.   Besides, it will all be here next week and so will i.  you know what i discovered?  Being so busy makes life go by too fast and keeps me from appreciating my family.


So much has changed in our lives this last 6 months but we have been so busy we haven't really acknowledged it properly.  the biggest thing is that Phillip started his own business .  It all happened very suddenly.  After the decision was made in just a couple short weeks an office was found, computer was bought and new health insurance was being reviewed.  On April first he began working in his... kinda (if i'm being honest) swank new little office, complete with a desk, fancy king-of-the-jungle desk chair and a little sign on his door that says Phil Holmes Design.  it took a few days for him to organize his patrick(from sponge bob) happy meal toys and his father's day photos from the kids but within a couple weeks it was like he'd been working there for years.  We really could not have anticipated how good this could be... or how bad.  Thankfully though, it has been nothing short of the best thing that has ever happened to phillip and our family.  can i just tell you how happy i am for my husband!  After 11 years of commuting, up to as much as 5 hours a day, he now drives a short, maybe, 10 miles, to said swank office.  (in a swank new car even)
side note...
(just for fun, i sort of imagine you reading this side note all in one breath and super fast, sort of like how the announcers do at the end of a commercial when there are all sorts of disclaimers about a medication they are trying to sell. ok?
...the NEW car is all because of a certain 17 year old son who inherited phillip's old car because he recently got his license because he finally finally completed his eagle project and truly NEEDED a car so his poor mother would not have to drive to 3 different schools anymore to pick of 4 kids at all different times of the day.  the heavens are open now and the angels are singing can you hear them?)

 happy phillip in new office just after he got the keys.

a little office christening captured on film

i'm just realizing that i haven't taken any pictures of the office now that it is all set up.  

stay tuned.  i'll post some soon.

Anyway, life is good at the Holmes house. phillip goes to work when he wants to (which is the same time as before) and comes home when he wants to (which is MOSTLY the same time as before) the real difference is all in the new attitude.  and it goes a little something like this...


Sara:  "Do you think you are going to be able to take time away from the office for a a regular family vacation this year?" 


Phillip  (new favorite response to all of sara's questions): " I can do whatever I want baby!"


This of course means what ever i want as long as there is money in the bank and clients are happy but it sure is fun to see him so happy.  i am proud of how hard he has worked to support our family over the years.  He worked full time while he finished school so i could stay home with Tanner when he was born, all those years ago.  It took a lot longer to finish but he finally did, right before Emily was born, in 1994.  He got a job almost immediately and has been blessed to find work ever since.   i remember he had to work 2 jobs, totaling 60 hours a week + a commute, to make the same amount of money he was making at his job before graduation but he knew he had to start somewhere.  He never really complained about how tired he was, only that he wished he could be home more with us.  So much has happened since then, but thankfully, it has been a steady climb up in ranks for him.  He is a talented honest man with integrity and loyalty and he has been very successful. (As I always knew he would be.)



Money has been tight over the years though, as i am sure it is for most, when mom stays home with the kids.  It's a lot of stress for one man to carry by himself.  enough stress to make a man lose all his hair even.  i'm just sayin.  but seriously, phillip was so selfless.  He never wanted me to spend any money on him.  He couldn't ever justify spending any money if he didn't have to, but always wanted the kids and I to have the things we wanted.   I remember asking him once, back then, what would you do if you didn't have to worry about money?  what would you buy?  He said,  " I would super-size every meal, recklessly, even when i wasn't hungry."   food is king in his world.  He isn't the flashy type but would spend a pretty penny for a good meal if he was forced.


Money strains started to ease up 5 or so years ago and things are different now.  i no longer agonize over liquid or powder laundry detergent or count the number of squares of toilet paper on a roll to calculate the price per sheet to figure out the best deal.  grocery shopping use to be so much work and stress.  i remember  a few years ago i was telling phillip how much i dreaded going to the store.  i told him how tired i was and that agonizing over all the choices could be so exhausting with multiple kids in tow ( heaven forbid a new store just opened and every item had to be recalculated to figure out which brand was the best deal.)  i remember phillip telling me "just walk in that store like you own the place and  buy what ever d@*n laundry detergent you want and quit stressing." I don't know why, but this had never crossed my mind before.  it was like he told me to give myself a raise!  i decided that, within reason,  i would buy what ever stupid spaghetti sauce i wanted to, instead of which one was the cheapest. don't get me wrong, i still look for the best deal, but when i'm tired and in a hurry and sick of it all, "i buy what ever i want, baby!"  I'm so thankful for Phillip and all he does for our family.  i know he had a hard time buying a nice car for himself and even justifying office furniture when he could have technically been fine to work on an old desk we already had.  i had to talk him into it but i think he was hoping i would.   it makes me happy to see him enjoy his car and his new office.  He deserves to give himself a little raise too, every now and then.


In an effort to try to take the time to enjoy life more, we all went to the movies and out to dinner as a family this last thursday evening.  i have this new found desire to break the mold.  Who said we can't go out on a week night anyway? oh ooops, i guess i did for years, thinking that we needed to be about more important things like homework, meetings, scouts, errands etc.   what im realizing, in ever increasing clarity, is that NOTHING is more important than spending time together with the people we love.  Time moves all too quickly and we really never know how much time we have (thanks to some health scares for me this summer, that perspective has been fully developed.)  This lady at the restaurant told us that we had such a beautiful family and how nice it was to see us all together.  She went on and on about how little she sees that anymore.  Phillip and I both remarked later, that even though it was a little embarrassing in the moment, how good it made us feel.   We thought for a few brief minutes that maybe we were doing a few things right after all...  it was a good few minutes.  my family is EVERYTHING to me.  oh and the movie was cute.  Band slam.  PG and everyone of us liked it.  How nice is that?


I didn't know how to act when Phillip took the whole day off friday.  wait... what?  who are you and what have you done with my husband? it was a treat for Kate too, as he was the one to pick her up from school.  exciting for sure.  by this time friday i am thinking that this breaking the mold thing is crazy, all of this is so out of control!  what is it with my tendency to resist change anyway?  it's such good change!  it just felt so ODD.


Saturday we took the kids to wings n things (never been) for lunch in between some errands that we made the whole family tag along on... haven't made everyone go on errands for years. we enjoyed even more time together, it was fun to laugh with my kids and hear them laugh with each other.  we collectively ate too much; enjoyed the spicy wings, yummy soft bread sticks, crisp celery and dip and soda to boot.  i feared that i would pay for it physically, later.  and i have.  o well.  lesson learned. however, i may just do that again someday.  it was pretty tasty!


Saturday night phillip and i went over to dos lagos for the summer nights concert.   After the sun went down it was quite nice outside.  we layed down on a blanket on the grass and had a great time enjoying the FREE music.  i think i have greatly underestimated the power of music in my life.  i love it!  Afterward we enjoyed a late dinner at taps and actually talked for quite a while.   and you know what... i love him.  as we were driving home phillip says to me, "we have a good life.  we are so blessed."   and I have to agree with that.  we are blessed!  Has life been this good all along and i was too busy to see it?  probably.