Now What?

Sometimes I lament; who am I?
What makes me think that I am important enough to Heavenly Father to get an answer to my prayers.
The adversary must want me to think that so I won't pray.
I prayed this morning for help.
To know how to be released without this giant gaping whole in my heart.

I was released Sunday.
From my calling as the stake young women's president.
I had recently given in to the idea that it would be one more year.
I had submitted.
Fully.
I reset my whole entire heart on the young women.
I love them.

I turned to James 1:5

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

Did you know upbraideth means to charge with something wrong or disgraceful; 

to reproach; to cast in the teeth.

Neither did I.  I mean you probably did, its just me that doesn't use that word in my everyday language.  "Now son, you better quit upbraidthing your sister or you'll be in big trouble buster."  I like it.  The wisdom is already flowing.

But seriously, I was thankful to be reminded of that.

Then the thought came...read the 109th section of the Doctrine and Covenants.  I was thinking, no, that is just a dedicatory prayer.

I followed the prompting anyway.

let me read some of it to you...

1.Thanks be to thy name, O lord God of Israel, who keepest covenant and showest mercy unto thy servants who walk uprightly before thee, with all their hearts-
(I figured since I serve standing on my feet it applies.)

2.Thou who hast commanded thy servants to build a house to thy name in this place.

3.And now thou beholdest, O Lord, that thy servants have done according to thy commandment.
4... we ask thee, to accept of this house, the workmanship of the hands of us, thy servants, which thou didst command us to build.

5.For thou knowest that we have done this work through tribulation...

10...Father, we ask thee to assist us, thy people, with thy grace...that it may be done to thine honor and to thy divine acceptance.
11. And in a manner that we may be found worthy, in thy sight...

I guess I'm not the only one who, after serving, wants to feel that their offering was acceptable to the Lord.

So, I didn't build a house.
But I served
the Lord.
with all my heart.
I did what I was asked to do.
even when it wasn't easy.
and now as it is over, I am left wondering
was it acceptable?
Am I still worthy in thy sight?

And the Lord says in D&C 110:

5...lift up your heads and rejoice.

6...let the hearts of all my people rejoice, who have with their might, built this house to my name.

7. for behold, I have accepted this house...

how sweet the tender mercies...